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Schlock Mercenary Warning Sign magnet Maxim 7: If the Food is Good Enough Bag
Our Price: $1.00
Our Price: $3.00
Warning! Schlock Mercenary Habit forming Webcomic deep archives, productivity will suffer.
This warning sign measures 3 inches square.
Whether or not disposable grocery bags are bad for the environment you'll find yourself shopping with this reusable bag just for the looks you get from the nice person bagging your groceries. The imprint features Maxim 7 "If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire."

The bag folds open to provide a flat bottom measuring 9" x 12", and as shoppers at GenCon Indy, WorldCon, and DragonCon can attest, it holds a LOT of stuff that way.
Special edition Schlock cards for the Redshirts game Skull Kickers: Four More Tavern Tales
Our Price: $3.00
Our Price: $3.99
These are collector edition cards for use with the Redshirts game. Full game is available here: http://www.roddenberry.com/star-trek-home-office/star-trek-redshirts-card-game.html
These Schlock themed cards are only available through the Schlock online store. You get one Der Trihs redshirts card and one Schlock captain's log card. Both cards are mailed inside a protective sleeve.
This comic book contains the first comic Howard ever wrote for an illustrator other than himself, a six page short called "Twang."

This is part of the Skullkickers series, but readers don't need to pick up the whole series to appreciate this book of shorts. Of course, once you do pick this up, you'll be hooked.
Orange Tagons Toughs Logo Patch Set of Lawyer Drone Logo Dice
Our Price: $4.00
Our Price: $5.00
Sale Price: $4.00
You save $1.00!
This official Tagon Logo patch can be sewn onto just about anything you can push a needle through, and if you're good with hot glue or epoxy you can probably affix it to everything else. The patch is two inches (5.1cm) in diameter, with a plain backing.

The quarter is shown for size, and is not included.
Lawyer Drone logo dice. Click through for details!
Tagon's Toughs Logo Pin Set of Tagon's Toughs Logo Dice
Our Price: $5.00
Our Price: $5.00
Wear this pin and proudly display your allegiance to Tagon and his band of mercenaries.  This Tagon's Toughs logo pin is solid metal not a pressed together button.  It has a diameter of 1 1/2 inches, which makes it slightly larger than a quarter (as shown in the photo.)  We only have a limited supply of these, so get them while they last. Tagon's Toughs logo dice. Click through for details!
Gold Tough's Logo Lapel Pin Petey Lapel Pin
Our Price: $5.00
Our Price: $5.00
This die struck antique gold lapel pin is half an inch in diameter, and has a no-snag rubber closure to hold it in place. Suitable for caps, coats, messenger bags, or anything else to which you attach pins. Perfect for subtly proclaiming your allegiance while dressing up in the mundane world. Supplies are limited!
This metal and enamel lapel pin is an inch high, and has a no-snag rubber closure to hold it in place. Suitable for caps, coats, messenger bags, or anything else to which you attach pins. Supplies are limited!
Ennesby Lapel Pin DAMAGED 2013 Monthly Calendar
Our Price: $5.00
Our Price: $10.00
Sale Price: $7.00
You save $3.00!
This metal and enamel lapel pin is an inch high, and has a no-snag rubber closure to hold it in place. Suitable for caps, coats, messenger bags, or anything else to which you attach pins. Supplies are limited!
These copies of The 2013 Schlock Mercenary Maxims calendar have been bent, scratched, or otherwise rendered unsellable as new. We guarantee that the calendar will not be torn or have missing pages.
Schlock Miniature Ready to Paint Tagon Miniature Ready to Paint
Our Price: $9.99
Our Price: $9.99
Each Schlock mini stands 30 mm tall, and is in 28 mm scale.  Based on Schlock Mercenary by Howard Tayler, www.schlockmercenary.com. Sculpted by Melissa Mayhew.  This miniature is unfinished pewter, ready to be primed and painted.  The Schlock minis are shipped direct from Garden Ninja Studios, so it is not possible to combine shipping costs except with other miniatures.  If you may also order direct at www.GardenNinja.com. Each Tagon mini stands 30 mm tall, and is in 28 mm scale.  Based on Schlock Mercenary by Howard Tayler, www.schlockmercenary.com. Sculpted by Drew Olds.  This miniature is unfinished pewter, ready to be primed and painted.  The Tagon minis are shipped direct from Garden Ninja Studios, so it is not possible to combine shipping costs except with other miniatures.  You may also order direct at www.GardenNinja.com.
Attorney Drone Miniature Ready to Paint Ellen "Elf" Foxworthy Miniature Metal
Our Price: $9.99
Our Price: $9.99
Each Attorney Drone mini stands 30 mm tall, and is in 28 mm scale.  Based on Schlock Mercenary by Howard Tayler, www.schlockmercenary.com. Sculpted by Drew Olds.  This miniature is unfinished pewter, ready to be primed and painted.  The Attorney Drone minis are shipped direct from Garden Ninja Studios, so it is not possible to combine shipping costs except with other miniatures.  You may also order direct at www.GardenNinja.com. Each Elf mini stands 44 mm tall, and is in 28 mm scale.  Based on Schlock Mercenary by Howard Tayler, www.schlockmercenary.com. Sculpted by Drew Olds.  This miniature is unfinished pewter, ready to be primed and painted.  The Elf minis are shipped direct from Garden Ninja Studios, so it is not possible to combine shipping costs except with other miniatures.  You may also order direct at www.GardenNinja.com.
Writing Excuses CD-ROM Season Two Writing Excuses CD-ROM Season Three
Our Price: $10.00
Our Price: $10.00
"Fifteen minutes long because you're in a hurry, and we're not that smart."
This disc contains the entire second season of the Writing Excuses Podcast. It features Brandon Sanderson, Howard Tayler, and Dan Wells talking about various topics of interest to writers. Here’s what you get:
- Nine hours of fifteen-minute-long episodes in DRM-free MP3 format
"Fifteen minutes long because you're in a hurry, and we're not that smart."
This disc contains the entire first season of the Writing Excuses Podcast. It features Brandon Sanderson, Howard Tayler, and Dan Wells talking about various topics of interest to writers. Here’s what you get:
- Nine hours of fifteen-minute-long episodes in DRM-free MP3 format
2012 Monthly Calendar Maxims 13-24 PDF
Our Price: $15.00
Sale Price: $10.00
You save $5.00!
Our Price: $10.00
A Thooom-filled 2012 calendar. Click through for details. This PDF contains the images for Mercenary Maxims 13-24 as seen in the 2013 Schlock Mercenary calendar. You may download your pdf immediately by logging in to your account here at the store. You will receive a second email (after the order confirmation) which contains the download link, but it may take a little time because we have to get a human being to show up and press the send button. Yes this enforced delay is stupid. We've complained to our store software provider and hope to get it fixed soon.