Returns and Replacements

We want you to be happy with the schlock you bought. We realize there is irony implicit in that statement, but that doesn't mean we're insincere when we say it. Our business and livelihood depend on keeping people happy.

  • If you bought a book and it is damaged, please email to arrange for a replacement. Replacements will be sent out at no additional charge to you.
  • If you have pre-ordered a book which has not yet shipped, and would like to have your money refunded, please email schlockmercenary at
  • If you're just flat-out dissatisfied, and would like to return product for a refund, please email within 30 days of purchase for return instructions.